It was 1982, the week of my mother's funeral. I was 32 and my life was everything I wanted. I had a husband and three kids who were my world, a job I liked, a house I loved, and enough money to pay the bills if we were careful.
And I was overwhelmed. It was a bad year in the marriage--you have those in 50 years; it just happens. A kid was heading into puberty, my husband and I worked different shifts, and I couldn't keep up. I couldn't be the kind of housekeeper all my in-laws were. I couldn't stay slim. I had bad hair. And then my mother died.
I would survive, and thrive. I knew that. That was just what we did, right? But I sat at my mother-in-law's kitchen table and told her what I knew to be the truth. "I realized this week that when Mom died, there is no one left who will love me regardless of anything that might happen."
That was when my mother-in-law looked into my eyes and said, "You'll still have me."
I did, for 34 more years, and although our relationship wasn't seamless, the love within it was. I was blessed by having her. I'm so grateful, but what I'm writing about is that sometimes, the perfect thing is said.
I wrote about it for Valentine's Day, when, on our way home from receiving a "benign" verdict on my breast biopsy, my husband said, "It's the best day off I've ever had."
The first time my son-in-law met my daughter's grandmother, he got a bowl out of the cabinet that she couldn't reach. Later, at dinner, when someone complimented the contents of the bowl, Jim said, "Grandma and I made it," and won her heart forever.
I needed more than anything the words my second mom said to me that day. Being overwhelmed was a life state for quite some time, and occasionally still is. When I am, when I feel emotionally needy, I think of her again. And of those words.
We get to do that as writers, the difference being we get to create the circumstances that produce the perfect words. The "my dear, I don't give a damns" and the "I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
I'm not sure I had a good reason for writing this post, except that...yes, as romance authors, love is our literary bottom line. Happily Ever Afters are not only the readers' reward, but ours as well. And if we manage to write something--just once in a while--that is perfect and stays on someone's heart for a long time giving comfort and joy, well, that's even better, isn't it?
This is an interactive post! What are some of the perfect things you've said, heard, read, or written?
I thought about this yesterday, how much I love words! How powerful they can be. After all, they can turn around your whole day, can't they? And your whole life. "I do," for example. And those words can be simple every day words, like your "Grandma and I made it." (Your examples were beautiful, by the way!) Passages from THE BIBLE that are so quintessentially perfect you read them again, and again, and again. Phrases in songs that make you go, "Yeah, that's it. You couldn't add a word or take a word away from that to make it any more ideal." I have words all over my house, on pillows, refrigerator magnets, decorations...in December it's "Joy," "Peace," or maybe even "It was the night before Christmas..." They invoke feelings; feelings we want to share during that time of the year. I have a little ladder on my front porch that I decorate seasonally. I have words for that, too. A wooden "grow" in the spring. A big light-up fall in autumn. The games I like to play are usually word related as well. My husband and I play a game called Text Twist at lunch and after work. I count myself very fortunate to peddle my words, be a "wordsmith." I pull up the thesaurus constantly to find the "right" word, because the words can mean the same thing, but have different connotations. They bring shades of something to the table that the others don't. I guess you can tell I love words because I've prattled on here! :) I loved your words today, Liz. Thank you for sharing them with me!
ReplyDeleteI love your comment! And, yes, being able to peddle our words is wonderful, isn't it?
DeleteWhat a lovely post, Liz!
ReplyDeleteOne thing that popped into my mind was when my husband said when we courted and he handed me a rock - not a diamond - a rock and said.... "My love is like this rock, it's strong and solid, it'll never change and there's not another one like it in this world." Although he is deceased, I still have that rock.
Good luck and God's blessings to you and yours
PamT
I love that story, Pam. It's something no one can ever, ever take away from you!
DeletePam -- That's so beautiful!
DeleteI have heard this -- "Love never dies." And I use it in my books.
ReplyDeleteI like that!
DeleteI wrote a long post, but it disappeared. Yours was a great post, Liz. Reminded me that when my mom scolded or punished me, she'd always end with "I'll always love you."
ReplyDeleteAww, I think I've said that a time or two, too. :-)
DeleteGosh! What a lovely post. I have so many things I say/use because they bring me comfort and make things simpler. Whenever I'm struggling, I call on them and they help me to keep going. My granddad always said, "Leave it be." when we over-analyzed or got ourselves worked up about something that just didn't really matter. He'd also use it when we were being a little too self-righteous with our opinions. My grandpa told me when I was six years old: "Don't you drink beer just to throw it all up the next morning.", and then there's "All things in moderation." and then sooooo many from the Bible like "Fear not.", "Be still.", "It is finished." And all of these things help with writing books, especially romances when you're writing about normal, everyday lives. I'm so glad romances have happily ever afters!!! And P.S. the quotes you posted are ones I adore!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kara. I remember my granddad saying, "Don't take too much credit," because I always felt like everything was my fault. I still do, but his words can rein me in.
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