By Bea Tifton
This time of year, so many blogs are about resolutions. We don’t need no stinkin’ resolutions. I mean, how many of those do you really keep? It’s mid-January, and I would be willing to bet some of them have fallen by the wayside. No, I didn’t make resolutions. I made, dramatic pause, Goals.
”That’s merely semantics!” I hear you cry. Or is that one of the voices in my head? Hmmm. Never mind. But no, they’re different. Resolutions are vague, wispy things. Goals are noble, strong, and achievable. Trust me, I’m a Librarian. I know stuff.
First, to welcome in the New Year, I scrubbed my house clean. Not only putting up clutter, but polishing and straightening. I vacuumed up enough pet hair from my couch to assemble another small pet. I used Windex, People! It sparkles.
Now, for my goals.
(I use a computer)
Goal number one: Write! I want to stop talking so much about writing and write more. I plan to have my book ready by the end of February. We’ll see. But no more procrastination, watching old mystery shows and calling it research. Well, except for “Murder, She Wrote”. I mean, really.
Goal Number two: Exercise! I’m going to go to my exercise classes five times a week. I take yoga and Tai Chi. That makes me sound very together and artsy, doesn’t it. Well, you haven’t seen me there. Still, as I stretch and contort my body into downward dog and go through mystical Asian movements each week, who knows what amazing thoughts will spring into my head?
Goal Number Three: Eat healthy food. While I was cleaning out, I went to the grocery store and stocked up on good, healthy food. In a fit of optimistic exuberance, I bought zucchini. But no kale! I mean, I haven’t gone mad.
Goal Number Four: Don’t Overcommit. I’m going to learn to say negative to all the zillions of requests to steal my time. Even some of the more noble ones. It’s hard. I still want to change the world. And, like me, most of my friends do, too, so they ask for my help. But I can’t do it all. So I’m practicing. Enunciating. Checking facial expression for sincere, but firm regret. “Nooooooooo. No! No?” Okay, I’ll keep working on it.
So, this morning, I was so excited about my new life that I was fairly bouncing on my toes. I got in my cute little car, Sunny (what do you mean you don’t have a name for your car. What on earth do you say when you talk to him?), and tootled to the pet food store. I was going to get so much done today! I had lists. I had resolve. I had…GOALS. So, I bounded out of Sunny, full of great intentions. And was pulled abruptly back into my car.
Goal number 52: Unfasten seatbelt before attempting to exit vehicle.