Showing posts with label Brenda Chitwood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Brenda Chitwood. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

FAMILY. THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING.

By Brenda Chitwood

This has been quite a year. One year ago last July, my niece, her teen-age daughter and two little dogs moved in with me. ME! The spinster of the family. Sam, my Schnauzer, was content to be an only dog-child so he was not thrilled. I'll explain why later.

I've lived with just a dog pretty much since I started living on my own. My brother lives in another town on the other side of Ft. Worth and his daughter lived in East Texas. Over the years, we had only visited occasionally. She had family there and a busy life.

Well, not long after moving to a high stress job in the tiny town of Vernon, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  This called for a move to be closer to good care and family.  She packed up the teen and the dogs and I suddenly became mom and grandma in one day.

I love them all, but this was a huge change for someone who never had children and lived pretty contentedly alone, writing and staying busy with my friends. So, this was my life for a little over a year:


Clark is full blood Chihuahua and Nugget is a mix of Pug and Chihuahua and (I swear) beagle. My niece is a sucker for any lost animal.

 She found Clark on the side of the road as a puppy. We're pretty sure he is autistic. He lines up his food and barks at it. He has a multitude of  odd behaviors. Nail chewing and hiding under blankets. When not bathed regularly, he smells like old tacos. The dog whisperer would have his work cut out for him.

Nugget, belonged to an elderly man who passed away. No one took the dog so he was turned over to a shelter where he lived for several months before nuzzling into my niece's neck when she brought Clark in for shots. He squirmed around like a delirious puppy and licked her chin. He isn't dumb.

His ears are huge... like bat wings. He sheds about a pound of hair a day.  He is only about nine inches  tall, round as a barrel and struts around on short little legs. Due to a throat problem, he coughs, gags and sounds like an old geezer with a two pack a day smoking habit. He growls at being moved off the sofa when he is sleeping. (Which is most of the day.)  I found this  particularly interesting since the teenager exibited many of the same traits.

Ah, the joy of learning to live with a sixteen year old. NEVER wake them up any earlier than absolutely necessary. She had the timing down to the second for getting ready for school. Five minutes any earlier resulted in snarls and glares. Oh, FYI,  teenagers can live on Dr. Pepper, Spaghettio's and jars of dill pickles.

On the plus side, I know who Harry Stiles is and that Pink is not only a female singer but a line of clothing at Victoria's Secret.

I'm sure I was no picnic to live with, but we all managed to get through the year without any major battles, strangulation or screaming matches. I learned to adore the teenager in spite of little dramas like locking her keys in her car twice in one week, washing only one shirt in the washing machine because she needed it later and keeping my mouth shut when she wore her pj's to school occasionally.

We became even closer while my niece was going through surgeries, chemo, job loss and a difficult, non-supportive ex-husband.

I'm glad to say they are thriving. My niece has an excellent prognosis, a good job and a head of very thick, very curly hair. As for the ex, the best revenge is living a good life.

The teen spent a week last summer doing missionary work in Honduras and just returned from the Tiger Cruise on the Naval air carrier, USS Nimmitz. Her youngest aunt was returning from deployment and they allow family to stay on board from San Diego to their final destination in Washington.

Sam and Nugget have become good buddies.  Clark stays buried under his blanket, but I think he will miss them when they leave.

It's really quiet around the house, now, but  it was one of the best year's of my life. I'm thankful for being able to support her during this rough time and looking forward to the coming year. I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas and a New Year that brings you love, laughter and joy.





Thursday, October 24, 2013

AT WAR WITH THE AUTOMATED VOICE AND THE EVIL GEEKS WHO INVENTED HIM (IT?)

By Brenda Chitwood
I'm not, normally. a violent person. I'm not, normally, an impatient person.  Today I wanted to commit violent acts against the big mammoth communications company which I shall call Big Name Company. I'm sure you have all been there. You just want to talk to a real person.

The back up battery for my system has not worked for over a year. The Big Name Company service guy told me it was a bad battery and he would bring me a new one. That was last November. The silly thing has a beeping alarm that goes off every 10 hours. I have to get up in the early morning hours and reset it, then do it again later.

I called Big Name Company this morning and punched buttons, answered the dreaded automated voice which assured me my system was working fine. That wasn't the problem, but the options list didn't cover; "For stupid, broken, back up battery replacement, press 666 and pray".

After repeating that I wanted to talk to a service representative several times, Automated Voice cheerfully beeped and popped until a heavily accented male voice named Alvin, came on the line. He had a very cheerful voice, too. (I'm beginning to hate the word "cheerful.")

When I could understand his heavily accented questions, I dutifully picked up the five pound battery, turned it upside down, sideways and upright--three times to find a non-existent model number. Then he told me it was probably inside. Well, gee whiz. I don't happen to have a screw driver on me.

Final results, I have to call the battery company and beg for a real person to send me a real battery, if I can find the model and serial numbers.  Alvin cheerfully asked if there was anything else and to have a pleasant day. I hate Alvin, too.

No jury would convict me.  Remember the woman who got fed up with her cable company and went to their office and smashed the computer at the front desk? Well, I'm with you sister,  I'm getting my hammer.







Thursday, September 26, 2013

NO ZOMBIES ALLOWED!

By Brenda Chitwood

Why do we like to scare ourselves? I love a good paranormal, but wouldn't be dragged to a slasher movie. Some terrors I can do without. No, I have never seen a Nightmare on Elm Street or a Freddie movie.  Never will, either.

Remember when The Exorcist came out. Hmm, I'm dating myself here. Friends talked me into going with them to the local drive in (dating myself again) to see it.  We waited after it had been out several weeks thinking we had heard about all the scariest parts.

It's dark and a little chilly so the windows were rolled up. We were doing okay until there was a sharp knock on the driver's side window. (I think this happened when Linda Blair's head was spinning.) Of course we all screamed and popcorn went everywhere. Some guy was going around to all the cars trying to get donations for a charity. Could he have chosen a worse time or place?
Zombies

As I was putting out my Halloween decorations, I thought about our fascination with witches, vampires and zombies.

Gahhh, I hate zombies.  Frankly, watching the dead stumble around dropping body parts is gross. Also, I just can't see a romance with a guy whose ear or nose is hanging by a tread of rotting tissue.  Still, the books seem to be selling well. Sorry, I just don't get that.



Now witches, I can see a romantic paranormal story about a witch. I'm currently working on a funny romantic suspense involving Daisy, a witch who can't stay out of trouble. The story just popped into my head one night and I couldn't wait to start writing her story. I'm jealous of her ability to cast spells turning idiot lechers into pigs. Now that would be a handy little spell.

Yeah, I'm skirting around the whole "undead" thing with the vampires. When you really think about it, they are cold, extremely pale and the fang situation could make a kiss painful. Still, all those superpowers are attractive.

 Zombies just bump into each other looking for tasty brains.

Some people prefer total reality. No paranormal or fantasy for them. Life is all the reality I need and the fantasy of magical powers doesn't hurt anyone.  But, oh I would love to be able to fly or flick my fingers and create whatever I wanted.

Monday, June 24, 2013

MY ONGOING LOVE AFFAIRS

 By Brenda Chitwood

Okay, I admit it, I have had an ongoing affair with Mr. Darcy. Well, to be honest, Rochester has always had a place in my heart, too. I'm such a slut. J. D. Robb's Roarke is to die for. 

Colin Firth in "Pride and Prejudice"

Who am I kidding, I love them all. One thing they all seem to have in common is being wealthy.  Money never hurts.

These guys don't sit around in their underwear munching cheese doodles and squashing empty beer cans on their foreheads. On the flip side, I doubt any of them would fall into mad lust with my lumpy figure or the chocolate smears on my mouth. 
Swept off her feet by a handsome man


That's the beauty of romantic fiction. The men are perfect and we find the heroines easily ignored. In fact, I become Elizabeth, Jane or Eve.  Although, Eve would probably kick me from New York to Texas.

Hugh Jackman, just because he's dreamy


As a reader, I fall into the arms of the hero and never have to pick up his dirty socks.  As a writer, I scream at the hero in my story to behave and stop being such an ass. 


Heroes don't write themselves--
and sometimes they don't cooperate
with their author

After hours of looking at a blank page and imagining my hero laughing at my frustration, I decide to change into my stretchiest  sweat pants, find my stash of Snickers hidden in the back of my bookshelf and see what chaos Karen Marie Moning's Barrons is creating.  Oh my, is he HOT!

I'll be giving away an Amazon Gift Card to one person who comments on today's post. The winner will still be in the drawing for the Kindle Fire HD Tablet on June 30th. Please leave your email address with your comment in the event you're the winner.