The Committee Survival Guide

 Filling in for the lovely and talented Caroline Clemmons, who is not feeling well. 

 Sir Alec Issigonis famously said, “A camel is a horse designed by a committee.” I know committees have their place, and that most of us have a place on committees, but there are a few rules to avoid losing your mind.

How did I learn these rules? At one time, I was uber active in my church. And as soon as I joined one committee, other committee leaders said, "Hmm. She has the big red volunteer 'V' on her forehead. I should ask her to be on my committee." And they asked me, and then their friends asked me... Oh, so many good causes and so little ability to say no. 

Oh, yes. The rules. 

Do not ever volunteer to take notes. Make any excuse. "I'm sorry. I had a traumatic note taking experience that involved wrestling an alligator and being abducted by aliens. I couldn't possibly take the notes of the meeting. " Committees have informants. Word will get around. Once you take the meeting notes, you will be secretary for the rest of your life. In every committee. For.The.Rest.Of.Your.Life. 

When unpleasant responsibilities come up, learn to yell, "One, two, three, not me!" while simultaneously touching your nose (or not) if that is a custom in your geographic region. Practice this maneuver at home and loosen up before each meeting so you will be ready. Failure to do so will result in your being in charge of said grunt work. Remember, informants. Word gets around that you will be willing to do so. And the alligator/alien excuse only goes so far.

Every committee has one. That member who brings up the same thing every meeting simply because he or she didn't like the decision when it was made. Make a game of it. Every time he brings it up, take a drink of coffee. Put the incident in the notes. (Come on, admit it. You're the committee secretary because you hesitated to use the alligator/alien excuse. Did I not warn you?) "Once again the tiresome Renold Holdwieller brought up the same ridiculous article in another futile attempt to get his own way." Committees thrive on passive aggressiveness. Embrace it. 

NEVER miss a meeting. If you do, you will automatically be put in charge of everything. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g. 

I hope these rules help you navigate the world of committee memberships. Now, I've got to go. I have a committee meeting to attend. 

Photo Credits: Pexels.com
Frans van Heerden "Close-up of Brown Camel"
Monstera "Excited Black Woman Using Laptop"
Andrea Piacquadio "Thoughtful Woman Writing in Notebook at Home"
Michael Meyer "Ashtray with An Alien Toy Inside"
Polina Zimmerman "Portrait of Young Woman" 
Sarah Estes "A Woman in a Super Cropped Sweater"