Showing posts with label life changing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life changing. Show all posts

Monday, February 16, 2015

3 Keys To Cancer Survival by Joan Reeves

Has cancer touched your life? It has mine. Just about everyone in my husband's family has died from a form of cancer.

Today, I want to talk to you about something that might help save your life or the life of someone you love. Please read and share.

Update

I posted this on my own blog last week as I waited for my brother-in-law's surgery to be completed. I think this information is so important, that I'm copying my post here.

My brother-in-law survived his second cancer surgery which took almost 9 hours--9 hours of waiting in agony and prayer for the outcome.

Lessons to Take to Heart

I want to tell you his story because there are 3 important lessons to learn from the nightmare he has lived since January 2014. He fought bravely in a battle that began 2 days after he retired when he went to see the doctor for a problem that had plagued him all year. That day changed his life because he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Esophageal Cancer.

Before cancer, he was a big strong man who loved life. After a year of fighting, he's lost a hundred pounds and is weak, but his spirit remains strong.

The Cancer Treatment Journey

First, he had radiation and months of chemo. Then came the surgery. They literally removed his esophagus and part of his stomach. Then they "pulled" his stomach up to create a new esophagus. He spent a long time in ICU afterwards. Nothing by mouth since the day before the surgery until weeks after it when they did a swallow test. It should be called a "leak" test because that's what they were looking for: to see if everything patched together held up. He passed.

To his dismay, his oncologist told him he'd have to have another 6 months of chemo. By the time he went back for his final oncology appointment, he was weak but excited that the ordeal would be over.

Except it wasn't. The CT scan showed something on his 11th vertebra. The MRI the next day revealed a new cancer. A tumor had grown inside the 11th vertebra and destroyed it. He'd been complaining to his wife about his sides hurting. The doctor told him he had been living with the equivalent of a broken back.

The biopsy was this past Saturday. After getting the results, the doctor and his team created a surgery plan. That's what was happening as I wrote this post. The tumor was removed along with anything left of the vertebra which the doctor described as "jelly." They also removed the last rib in back on the right side. He's been in ICU since he left the operating room last Thursday. Next will come more chemo. He can have no more radiation. He's reached the lifetime limit for it.

All of this brings me to the point of today's post.

3 Things To Know That May Save Your Life

1. Listen to your body.

When something is wrong with your body, it gives you hints. Sometimes they're subtle. Sometimes they scream. If something is "off" or feels out of the ordinary, and this something continues more than a couple of weeks, pay attention. Your body is trying to send you a message.

Do you know the early warning signs that may signal cancer? There are many variations of this list, but basically, they are:
  • New lumps or growths on your skin
  • A sore or bruise that does not heal
  • A mole that changes in shape, size or colour or bleeds in unusual circumstances
  • An ongoing cough or hoarseness that last longer than three weeks
  • Indigestion or difficulty in swallowing
  • A change in bowel or bladder habits for no good reason
  • Shortness of breath
  • Loss of appetite
  • Unexplained weight loss or tiredness
  • Blood anywhere it normally shouldn't be – urine, bowel, spitting.
My brother-in-law had developed difficulty in swallowing. He waited several months before mentioning it to his doctor. Then his doctor gave him the easy answer rather than sending him to a gastroenterologist.

Most recently, the left and right sides of his back around his waist started aching. He didn't say anything to his oncologist because he thought it was just that he was so tired and had been in bed for so long. Also, he had fallen several times because he was weak. That ache started 3 months ago.

2. If you think something is wrong, talk to a doctor who specializes in that party of the body.

My brother-in-law talked to his family doctor about it. The general practitioner said, "Oh, that's nothing. We can fix that with diet and acid-reflux medication."

There's a reason the phrase "second opinion" was created. Do not hesitate to seek another opinion. Especially if you feel any iota of concern.

When we think something is wrong, we just want someone to assure us that it's not. That's the easy answer we all want. BUT, with cancer, you want the hard answer--the one that comes from a specialist who deals with problems associated with your particular issue, not a general practitioner who probably isn't familiar with subtle warning signs various cancers create.

3. When you know you'll be facing surgery/chemo/radiation, assemble your own team that will help you survive. Just as the surgeon assembles his team, you do the same--finding people who can come and keep the patient company during the week--especially at meal times. This is especially true if the patient is a man because men don't reach out for support the way women do.

When the patient is finally home after surgery, he or she needs someone there on a regular basis who will push the patient to eat even if they say they're not hungry or everything tastes bad. The team member must speak hope and optimism and healing and give the patient a vision of the future that will surely be achieved.

A team member should also listen carefully to the survivor. If he's complaining about something several times, then there's something there that must be addressed. Unfortunately, when you're around someone who is going through an ordeal involving pain and serious medical treatment, it gets too easy to turn a deaf ear to what seems to be chronic aches and pains. You need to really listen and sort through what's being said. 

Chemo, radiation, and surgery are the most debilitating events anyone will ever go through. They affect you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Some people think it takes a village to raise a child, but I know it takes a village to survive cancer treatment.

Donation Smarts
 
Take care of your health. Donate to cancer research. Charity Watch rates charities to see where the money actually goes. Click Cancer to find the best organizations that use your money for research, not expense accounts, salaries, etc.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

When the Going Gets Tough by Joan Reeves

Remember the old Billy Ocean song When The Going Gets Tough? If you're not old enough to remember the song, look it up on iTunes. What do you do when the going gets tough? The way you answer that question may determine your longevity as a writer—and as a human being.

You've heard the old cliché and seen the inspirational posters: "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." Right?

Well, usually. Sometimes when the going gets tough, if you've been fighting the good fight for a long time, maybe you should just relax a bit. Take a load off, Fanny, to quote another old song. Take a vacation even if it's just a day off to goof around.

How To Goof Off Productively

Set a time schedule for relaxing, or you may end up relaxing away the rest of the year instead of a couple of days. After a few days of catching up on your TV viewing or a day at the golf course or shopping or just reading, you'll be surprised how much better you feel. You'll be ready to dive into writing—and life—again with renewed energy rather than become a burnout victim.

Take A Dis Vacation

Take a vacation from disrespecting yourself or anyone else. All that negativity and whining takes an enormous amount of energy. Resolve that if you can't say anything good about someone that you'll just keep your mouth shut. That goes for your self-talk too. Especially for your self talk! Stop saying all those nasty things to yourself.

Some people trash talk themselves so much you'd think they were getting paid to do it. Start saying good things about yourself. You're not a loser because you didn't get that promotion or paint the dining room before New Year’s or write 100 pages last week. Get some perspective on your goals and on your life and never personalize the downside of anything. Ever.

Figure Out Where You're Going

Do you have goals? If so, are they realistic? Most people set goals so high that there’s no fracking way they can ever achieve them. They’re not setting goals—they’re setting themselves up for failure. Figure out exactly what you want. You. Not your spouse or your best buddy. What you want. Not what you should want.

What would make you happy? Set your goals realistically—high enough that you have to work to achieve them but low enough to be in the realm of real possibility. Set up a viable action plan to achieve the goal. Step by step. Day by day.

Wrong-thinking Goal: I want to hit the NYT best seller list with this book. Or, on a smaller scale, I want to win Yard of the Month from the Garden Club. Both are totally out of your control.

Right-thinking Goal: I want to finish the manuscript. I want to have a weed-free yard. Both are totally within your control.

Dance To The Music

Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music. (Must be old song week, right?) With everything you do, set up a system of milestones and rewards. When you achieve a stated milestone like completing the first draft of a manuscript or getting an interview for a new job, celebrate. When you get a good book review or you get an "attaboy" at work, celebrate. If you get your first rejection as a writer, celebrate.

I don't mean pop a hundred dollar bottle of bubbly each time, but do celebrate and bask in the glory of achievement. Make the reward commensurate with the achievement.

Be Present

Live today. Don't get caught in the trap of regretting what you didn't get done yesterday. Pat yourself on the back for what you did today. Avoid thinking: when I get this done, I'll be happy. That's just a way of postponing happiness.

Learn what it takes to be happy every day. Be happy when you’re typing away on your first draft of a book or working at the Evil Day Job. Be happy when you’re hitting the Publish button on Kindle Digital Publishing and just as happy when you’re staring at a 1-star review. Happiness is a choice that comes from within, not from external circumstances.

The shortest time is the space between projects when it’s all done and you’re basking in the glow of completion. That is such a short time. Happiness shouldn't be reserved for that tiny span of time. Be happy then and when you’re just hanging in there and enduring the present in hopes of a brighter future. Live each day and be happy each day.

Don't postpone your satisfaction for some future time or happiness will always be just out of reach. Enjoy the journey because time spent on the road to success is longer than time spent at the destination.

Remember This

I hate to use Hollywood buzz words, but be present in your life. Live in the now. Be happy now. That's the real secret to avoiding burnout as a writer and as a human being.

Post Script

Joan Reeves is a bestselling author of Contemporary Romance whose books are available as Audiobooks (at iTunes and Audible), eBooks (at most major sellers), and Print (coming to CreateSpace and Amazon soon. I promise! Visit Joan online at her Website, SlingWords, her blog, or on Twitter @JoanReeves and Facebook.com/JoanReevesWrites.

Look for Joan's new nonfiction ebook on Feb. 20: Little Book of Sunshine: For Readers and Writers. Encouragement and Inspiration for only 99cents wherever ebooks are sold. (Okay, maybe not every ebook seller on the planet, but most!)

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Readers Change Lives!

By Kimmie Easley

As writers, we hope to give something to our readers; joy, hope, inspiration, direction, laughter, or even a sense companionship for a few hours. We have a goal in mind.

What we don’t always expect is when a reader takes the time to give something back; to give us insight into how our work has impacted their own personal lives.

I have been blessed with one such reader. I’ve asked this reader, and now friend, if I could share a little piece of her heart and she graciously agreed.

Like any other day, my daughter asked to check the mail. When she came inside she was bubbling with excitement when she handed me a handwritten envelope addressed to, ‘Author Kimmie Easley’. I quickly opened it and started reading. When I was done, I couldn’t move or talk. I was blown away.


Kimmie,

I wanted to let you know how excited I was to learn that I had won a copy of your new book “Souls Set Free” in the Goodreads giveaway. Fortune and luck are not familiar to me. I also wanted to let you know that it couldn’t have come at a better time. When the package was delivered, I found a book I had been hoping for; and autographed none the less, and my sister (whom I live with) looked at me and said, “Finally! You need something good right now.” Which gives you an idea of the hand that the universe has dealt me the last few years.

Then I read the first paragraph, those three sentences and cried a little. I don’t do that. Ever. Especially due to a book or movie. The book was put away because I knew that I wasn’t ready to read it yet. But eventually I did, and what I read will stay with me. It is beautiful how, as an author, you wrote the story through the eyes of someone who feels like the bad guy, who “happy people” could never sympathize with, yet make her the single most human character I’ve met in years. The familiarity was harrowing. At one point, I c aught myself realizing that I wasn’t simply sympathizing with the troubled main character, that I WAS her. That I didn’t want to hug Emma, I wanted to hug Jansen, and because I was already Emma and I knew how inexplicably important it was that Jansen was the man he was. The book proves that strength can help you up, but it can also pull you down. I know that your intention for the book was most likely NOT a lifeline, but it turned out that way. Like I said, it showed up on my doorstep at the right time.

The day I finished the book, I went to visit my mother at the restaurant where she works. When she saw me she was happy and asked, “What do you want to eat? The usual?” I told her I wasn’t getting take out, that I just wanted to swing by, give her a hug, and say hi. She stood and stared for a minute, then asked what I wanted. J These spontaneous drop-ins should happen more frequently, she sees me roll with the punches and move on. She doesn’t see me improve or rise above.

I’m hoping that when an opportunity arises, the voice of Emma will remind me to TAKE that opportunity!

Now that my spiel is done, THANK YOU again for your gift, and for understanding the power of writing! I can’t wait to see what’s next. Maybe another haunting tale of empowerment, I could use a reminder! J It’s a great work, and it’s found a permanent home in my library. Good luck in everything! You make a difference!

*

Now, I’ve probably read this letter twenty times. I pull it out when I feel down or unmotivated. I made sure to touch base with this woman, and found her to be a beautiful, kind, and giving soul. She’s continued to give me uplifting words and she helps drive me more than she knows.

To show my appreciation, I wanted to give something back to my amazing and encouraging readers. In addition to offering Souls Set Free for .99 CENTS over the Holiday weekend (SOULS SET FREE on AMAZON), I wanted to do a reader/reviewer giveaway to say thank you!



After reading Souls Set Free, you can link your review to this event (SOULS SET FREE HOLIDAY GIVEAWAY) and be entered to win goodies, including a $25 Amazon gift card! Tell your friends and let’s make it a party and remember, YOU READERS MAKE A DIFFERENCE!