HOW OLD IS OLD?

How old is old? How much a part does genetics play in longevity? What part does attitude play in our longevity?

When I was a girl, I remember there were two ages of adults. If they weren’t gray, they were old. If they were gray, they were really old. Now that I’m … not so young any longer, I have a new perspective on age. Wow, do I ever!

In fact, a friend who is my age and I were discussing that this morning. We wondered how many more years we had to write. I figure I’ll write as long as my fingers move and I can string together at least semi-coherent sentences. My husband’s cousin died sitting at his desk with his fingers on the keyboard. Now, that’s the way to go.

On the other hand, a friend lived to 105. When she was 90, her doctor told her she had less than three months to live. She outlived the doctor who gave her that news. In fact, she had a new home built at 90, where she lived the rest of her life. (Word to the wise: she had cancer insurance and had home hospice every day for her last few years.) Several of her siblings lived to be in their late 90s.

We all know similar stories. There’s no figuring the guy who is a health nut and dies at 40 and the chubby, sedentary person who lives to be 95. No one said life was fair, right?

So what are we to do?

My personal opinion is that we should live every day to the fullest. Do something kind for someone else. Look on the bright side. Every day is a gift. Give thanks for each day because it’s a gift. That’s why it’s called the present. No I didn’t come up with that, but it’s true.

As Joan says, the take-away truth is: Attitude may not add years to your life, but it will add life to your years.

Go forth and make today a day worth living. 

THE YEAR I BECAME A MA'AM

By Bea Tifton, guest of Laurean Brooks

So this happened. Monday I will become “A Woman of a Certain Age.” I will turn 50.

Mary Tyler Moore saw it coming. In the episode, “Today I am a Ma’am,” she was shocked to discover that had she slipped into the middle aged demographic. That evening, she went to a store and the young man respectfully called her, you guessed it, Ma’am.

Ah, yes. My first Ma’am. It happened. I remember it well. It was from, hmmm, we’ll call him Jordan.

Sigh. Jordan.

Oh, sorry. What was I saying? Oh, yes. Jordan. Sigh.

Ahem. The young man who checks me out at my favorite pet supply store. And by “Checks me out,” I mean, sadly, “Operates the cash register in a competent and friendly, albeit impersonal, manner.” 

Oh, we started out well enough, laughing and talking. I was sparkling. I was interesting. And, since I’ve been accused of being so in the past, I admit I was a little flirtatious. Suddenly, I realized that while I’m not old enough to be a cougar, I was indeed probably old enough to be his mother. This man was Too Young For Me.  

Reeling from that realization, I heard it from Jordan’s very lips. Oh, his lips. Sigh.  

Jordan, in all his innocence, said delightedly, “Oh, my God. You remind me so much of my mother.” Handing me my receipt, he switched to his official cashier voice and said, “Thank you, Ma’am. Be careful with those bags when you walk to your car.” 

What, while using my walker? Really? His, gulp, mother?

Now, I know woman our age are important. And that’s really what matters, isn’t it.  While I’m still waiting for some of the oft mentioned wisdom that comes from getting older, I have not been sitting around, numbly clutching the grocery receipt Jordan handed me and mumbling to myself.

Alas. Jordan.

Oh, sorry. What was I saying?

Turning 50 is a milestone. It really is. Not a bad thing. Not the end. Just a milestone. While, admittedly, and you know this, my dear friends, if you search your hearts, sometimes women our age are dismissed, maybe that is our superpower.

We can come out fighting and no one even saw us coming. We are smart. We are strong.  And we’ll probably live to be 100, so this IS the new middle age. We’re not even old.

We’ve seen it, done it, and most of it was before social media could plaster us all over the internet so we can deny it if we want, thank the heavens. We know our way around the system, we keep abreast of politics. We are beings of true substance.  We are the protectors of the environment, the champions for social justice, the mentors for the next generation. We are frickin’ awesome. We have romance. We have mystery. 

And whenever someone calls me Ma’am now, I know they’re really calling me, “Your Awesomeness.” You betcha, young man.

Now where’s that damn birthday cake? I’m taking on the world.

Bea Tifton majored in creative writing at TCU and won writing awards in high school and in college. She is currently working on her first book, a cozy mystery with a shot of romance and silly shenanigans. This morning, she put on her sassy pants.

Photo credits:

By CBS Television , Public domain 

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Golden Treasure Or Old Fogey @JoanReeves

This book has a secondary romance: 2 senior citizens!

My daughter and I were having a conversation about aging. We have a mutual acquaintance who is rapidly becoming a boring old person--and she's not even that old yet!

Our conversation ranged from what makes someone seem old to stories about my grandfather who was 100 when he passed away.

My grandfather was as vitally alert and intelligent until the day he passed. Everything I've read about aging makes me think about him because he lived a lifestyle that was exactly what is espoused by all doctors and scientific studies.

I guess I've patterned many of the senior citizen characters in my novels after him and the other remarkable, long-lived seniors I've known. In several of my novels, like Still The One for instance, I've had a secondary romance involving senior citizens.

So how come some senior citizens are vibrant and engaging and others are mere shells? The subject is interesting. After all, none of us are growing younger each day. So I thought I'd pass along some information I read recently and show it in relationship to my grandfather's life.

What the Medical Community Says

To be healthy, mentally and physically, do these things:

1. Exercise
All studies show exercise is crucial. When aerobic exercise like walking is combined with strength training, the rewards are even greater. A 30 minute session is better than three 10 minute sessions. My grandfather walked at least a mile or two every day.

2. Engage in activities that challenge your brain.
Read books, write letters, and learn something new like a language or how to navigate Facebook, etc. My grandfather worked crossword puzzles every day. He was a voracious reader. When he was in his 70's, he bought a portable typewriter. He wrote me a letter just about every week. One of his favorite sayings was: "Learn something new every day, and you'll be smarter and happier."

3. Avoid isolation.
Strengthen your friendships and family relationships. Meet new people. Volunteer, join a club, or a special interest group like bridge club. Go to worship services, and talk with friends. My grandfather was sociable. When he moved into a retirement home, he was the one everyone gravitated to.

4. Eat a healthy diet.
If you're eating margarine, convenience foods, fast food, and too much empty calorie foods, make a list of changes you can make to get better nutrition. Tackle it one step at a time. My grandfather never ate sweets. He just didn't care much for them. He ate simple meals and snacked only on fresh fruit. He never ate after supper. He drank mostly water, tea, and coffee.

5. Get a good night's sleep.

Sleep deprivation or poor quality sleep is linked to cognitive impairment and Alzheimer's. Sleep apnea puts people at higher risk for memory problems and dementia so if you think this may be a problem for you, talk to your doctor.

My grandfather went to bed at the same time every night. He also rose every morning at the same time. Two hours after lunch, he'd lay across his bed and take an hour's nap. My brother and I were talking about that one day because neither of us nap. We sometimes feel like a nap, but we never give into the feeling because we always have so much to do. I wonder sometimes if this was a key to my grandfather's longevity.

6. Keep your heart healthy.
Studies show that what's good for the heart is good for the brain. Monitor your blood pressure, cholesterol, and weight. My grandfather had no heart issues until his last year. His heart problem was due as much to age as anything because he never had high blood pressure or cholesterol issues.

Take charge of your life now. Make changes now. Design your old age the way you want it to be. Who knows? Maybe you'll inspire an author to create a character after you. 

Post Script

Joan Reeves is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Sassy, Sexy Contemporary Romance. Her books are available at all major ebook sellers with audio editions available at  Amazon, Audible, and iTunes. In 2017, new print editions of her books will be published.

All of Joan's books have the same underlying theme: It's never too late to live happily ever after. Joan lives her happily ever after with her hero, her husband, in the Lone Star State.

Sign up for Joan's mailing list/free NL and receive a free ebook. Find Joan online: Blog, Website, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube.