By Mary A. Adair
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Motherhood
within Native American culture is a fascinating microcosm of the culture
itself. It encompasses a unique mix of nurturing and independence that prepares
their children for both a celebration of life’s forthcoming blessings and the
promise of a less than forgiving world with its fair share of challenges.
There
was a time when Native American mothers kept their children close to them by
tying them in a sling to their bodies and carrying on with their daily duties,
whether it be retrieving beans and berries for dinner or gathering wood for
fire. However, modern society has crept in and has chipped away at that simple
way of life; some Native American mothers have gone from breastfeeding to
bottled milk. But, the cultural tapestry woven by the women before them remains
key in how Native American mothers preside over their families.
For
Native Americans, tribal identity is very important and is a key factor in the
personal development of their children. Women are the stewards of this
tradition. They play a key role in an extended family system that’s defined in
terms of household composition which includes the mother, father, children,
grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Within this setup, the mother of the
household is responsible for setting a tone of assistance and nurturing. Grandmothers play the role of teacher by way
of storytelling.
FAMILY
VALUES
The
values of loyalty, respect for elders, humility, giving and sharing, avoidance
of personal glory, and love of the land is taught by the mother. Native Americans have respect for nature and
believe in working with nature rather than fighting it or trying to control it.
Native American mothers regard children as beloved gifts. Rather than likening children to chores or
people who must be controlled at all costs, these mothers genuinely enjoy
caring for and playing with their children.
This
lays the groundwork for their children’s’ value systems. Responsibility,
courage, patience, optimism, and contentment is also reinforced.
CHILD
REARING ENVIRONMENT
Children
are typically reared and socialized in an atmosphere that exposes them to a
large number of family members - parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and
grandparents. Not only does the mother
provide child rearing, but also aunts and grandmothers. Grandparents –
especially the grandmothers - tell the children stories about their heritage so
that cultural beliefs and values are passed on.
Mothers
set a tone of autonomy so as to allow children to learn to make their own
decisions. Developmental milestones are treated with a sense of laxity. For
example, it would be unusual to find a Native American parent working with
their child with flash cards in an effort to encourage the child to be an early
reader. Children are seen as unique individuals who develop at their own pace.
Native American parents permit their children to develop in their own time and
with minimal rules. The belief is that attempting to guide or control behavior
of another individual is disrespectful. That’s not to say that discipline is
nonexistent in Native American families. Correct conduct is taught to children
via ceremonies and direct or indirect instruction by parents, extended family,
tribal elders, or traditional healers. Positive reinforcement is used to teach
children.
MORE
THAN JUST HOMEMAKERS
Though
there’s been an evolution away from some Native American traditions, the
overall spirit of those traditions still remain. It’s important to understand
some of these traditions to get a sense of where these women – mothers – get
their unique sense of family values.
The
importance of women in Native American culture is apparent when you consider
that beyond being mother to their tribes’ children, they were farmers,
craftswomen, builders and even warriors. This required a strength that was
essential to the survival of their tribes and their children.
It
wasn’t uncommon for women to gather materials and build homes for everyone. In
most tribes, women were considered owners of the homes in which they
lived. Also, Native American mothers
would help their men hunt buffalo, then skin, cut and cook them. Native American women were not only
homemakers. The made tools and weapons, served as medicine women. Many tribes
considered women to have more healing power with a special connection to the
spirit world. They cared for their children and husbands.
Today,
the granddaughters of these women are now mothers of their own. She is the
provider, nurturer, mother, counselor and she is the spiritual and medical
healer to her children and tribe much like the mothers of the past.
Motherhood
within Native American culture is both sweet and complex. It involves the
wearing of many hats and the expending of much time. But, these women would not
have it any other way as this is what keeps them tied to their beloved
traditions and one with their spirit. Form them, family is about emotional
support, mutual aid, respect, affection and deference and respect given to
their husbands and their extended families.
