PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR HAPPINESS

    Have you recently discovered that having a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out? 

Everyone has stress. It's a response to challenges in life. And let's face it, a life without challenges would be dreary and boring.

If you’re a writer, stress manifests itself when you write and when you don’t. If the writing flows, we say we’re in the zone. When it stops, we agonize over how to kick-start ourselves. When we end a piece, we fuss over the editing process. And when we’re finally finished with it, we ponder whether our creation is worthy enough, then lapse into the insecurity of “what will we write next”?

I’ve decided, after a half-dozen books, there is no happy medium to getting the right balance in life that will completely relieve stress levels. But there are small things that everyone who is stressed can do to ease  anxieties.

We all know we have to eat healthy and exercise, but there are other things to consider. One is to stay as organized as possible, and simplify routines, commitments, and clutter. A messy desk doesn’t cause us stress. Not finding the papers we need which are buried in a chaotic heap on our desks causes us to stress.

We also need to let go of multi-tasking constantly and slow down. We’re in a society that says we can do it all. We want to accomplish a task, but not upset our family’s routine or our commitments to others, so we rush, rush, rush. Maybe it’s time to go back to the single task philosophy our parents used. Maybe it’s time to streamline our time and eliminate unnecessary commitments. Instead of the mental “to do” list which stretches for miles in our mind, it’s time to write down a realistic “to do” list and only put down five essential tasks we want to complete in a given time.                                                                                             

And lastly, here is my favorite de-stress idea. I’m giving myself permission to have free time for myself—whether it’s to do a hobby, read, travel, or just take time off from writing without guilt. Life doesn’t have to be about always accomplishing things—always placing the next word on the page or doing the next to-do chore. After all, productivity has never been a synonym for happiness.

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5 Ways to Enjoy Life More by Joan Reeves

A couple of months ago I read Happiness is a Serious Problem by Dennis Prager, a great book you should read because it will make you think about what happiness really is or should be.

All of us are happy at certain times in our lives. The trick is being happy the majority of the time. 

Sometimes we unwittingly sabotage ourselves and/or make decisions that set us up for unhappiness.

I thought about some personal rules I created to help me avoid messy situations or increase my chances of being happy most of the time. I blogged about these "rules" a few years ago on my personal blog, SlingWords, and thought I'd share them with you today.

5 Ways to Enjoy Life More

1. Never take advice from anyone who's more screwed up than you.

Everyone likes to give advice, but always ask yourself if the person dishing out the advice is living life more effectively with less hiccups than you. If not, smile and nod and feel free to ignore what they say. Unless what they tell you is based upon what they learned from their own bad experience of doing the opposite.

2. Learn from others who have been where you want to go.

Model their behavior. Find out how they did it and adapt their method to your efforts.Unless the way they achieved it was dishonest and goes against your own beliefs and integrity. You can't model negative behavior without far-reaching consequences.

3. Working effectively is better than working hard.

Unless you assess your efforts and realize you really aren't working hard - you're just giving lip service to the idea of working hard.

4. Enjoy yourself more.

Unless you're already spending way too much time in the pursuit of pleasure, learn how to enjoy your life. Life is short. Don't waste it. Find a way to balance hard, effective work and play.

5. Change your attitude about work. 

Sometimes when we describe an activity as work—even though it's something we truly adore doing—the activity, in our mind, becomes linked to work which equals unpleasantness. The more you enjoy something; the less it should seem like work. Your goal is to achieve something with the investment of your time, energy, and brain power—and have fun doing it.

Post Script

Life should be enjoyed. Now that's a goal worth pursuing.

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Hunt for Happiness by Joan Reeves #SmartGirlsReadRomance

I'm not a wise philosopher, but one thing I've observed in life is that most people spend a great deal of time in the pursuit of happiness.

French philosopher and writers, Denis Diderot, said, "There is only one passion, the passion for happiness."

When you get right down to it, what is happiness?

Dictionaries define it as "an emotional state characterized by feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment."

However one may define happiness, this state of being usually involves satisfaction with life and involves positive emotions that make one "feel good."

WHY DO WE HUNT FOR HAPPINESS?

Good question. The short answer is it's part of the human condition. The longer answer is because one feels a lack of something in life. Far too often, that lack translates into lack of love—humans want to be loved and to give love.

Romance novels are built upon this basic need for love and happiness. The pursuit of happiness and love is the basic plot that drives the romance genre.

Sure, there are other plot elements, motivations,  and emotions involved, but beneath all of that is the basic need for love and happiness.

Perhaps happiness is as basic and fundamental as  Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin de Francueil— better known by her pen name George Sand—once said.

"There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved."

NEW BOOK ON THE HORIZON

Of course my obsession with the hunt for happiness has to do with a new book that I'll publish in the next few months. In the meantime, I took a look at all the books I've written and realized 

In each book, the heroine is searching for something she lacks. In EVERY LITTLE LIE, Elizabeth searched for the reason her mother didn't love her. A lack that affected every aspect of her life and made her feel inferior and wary of relationships and love.

BLURB

Sometimes you win. Sometimes you learn a lesson. Usually the hard way. 

Elizabeth Stoneham knew this lesson was going to be another hard one. 

Using the mindlessness of passion to banish the pain of the past is a temporary solution.

The problem with this is that a woman can become ensnared if she’s not careful.

Review from EbookLuver: "Joan Reeves has written a true page-turner of women's fiction - 

intense, emotional and shocking with the lies...and more shocking with the truths."

Abraham Lincoln is often quoted for what he said about happiness: "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Epicetus said, "There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." Is that another way to espress what Lincoln said?

I've always thought Lincoln's words held a hint of resignation or perhaps acceptance of the status quo whereas what Epicetus said suggests we not worry over anything out of our control.

At least that's my 2¢. What do you think about the way to happiness as expressed by Lincoln and centuries before by Epicetus?

Joan participates in Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for websites to earn advertising fees by linking to products on Amazon which means she may earn a small commission if you buy her book using the embedded link.

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National Bluebird of Happiness Day ~ by Judy Ann Davis

                      September 24th is National Bluebird of Happiness Day!

For years I have tried to entice bluebirds to our yard. They were considered quite scare in our Central Pennsylvania region, but they have now begun to reappear.

Bluebird Nesting Box

Since I dabble in woodworking, especially in designing and constructing birdhouses, I made and hung a bluebird house on a portion of our wire fence once used as a dog run for our Dalmatian. Houses have to be mounted 4 to 6 feet above the ground and need to face cleared open land. Each house should also have a predator guard around the entrance hole to keep creatures from accessing the nest. (See the picture of guard on my bluebird box.)

I was thrilled the last two years when a pair decided to nest in my house. I was likewise disappointed two years in a row when the nasty sparrows chased them out into our neighbor’s yard.

The symbol of a bluebird as the harbinger of happiness is found in many cultures and may date back thousands of years. It is the most universally accepted symbol of cheerfulness, happiness, prosperity, hearth and home, good health, new births, the renewal of springtime—and the list goes on and on. In North America, the Iroquois believed the bluebird’s call could chase away Sawiskera, the spirit of the winter.

There are three species of these colorful North American birds. The Eastern and Western bluebirds have a reddish brown breast which contrasts with their predominately blue plumage. The male mountain bluebird, however, is entirely blue.

 

Here are a few of my other birdhouse creations. Although I have now moved on from designing and making birdhouses and other woodcrafts, I still tinker with my band saw, drill press, and woodworking tools to make a few things that I sell when I attend festivals to sell my books. Writing consumes most of my time these days.

Here's wishing everyone today a very joyful and productive day.

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WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPIEST? #CLAC

I’ve been writing a book in my western historical romance Bride Brigade Series called CASSANDRA, book 3. In the back of book 2, I put a short intro of what authors call a “teaser” to introduce Cassandra so now I have to publish her book next. In the meantime, the heroine of book 4, OPHELIA, keeps banging on the inside of my skull and shouting “Write me! Write me!”

Ophelia’s such a sweet woman, I’m surprised she’s being so bold and persistent. On the other hand, Cassandra is a bit of a gold digger determined to marry a wealthy man. Of course I've had to soften her character to make that desire understandable. I think I’ve done so. We’ll find out later this month when I release Cassandra's book.

You’ve probably noticed that writers are not like normal people. We hear these voices in our heads just like the mentally insane. Fortunately, our voices don’t tell us to kill anyone—except in a book. You can understand why we don’t seek help for our condition. We need the voices to write our stories.

I have dozens and dozens of characters clamoring to be written into stories. I must admit this makes me happy in one way and frustrated in another. Although I know I won’t run out of ideas, I wish I could write faster and faster to get all these books written. I’m not a spring chicken—more like an oldish hen. How can I live long enough to write the dozens of books I’ve planned? 

My two best friends and I were dining out one day this week. We agreed that writing makes us happy. Of course we like to sell books and earn royalties, but the writing is what we love. Sitting in my little pink cave pounding away on the keyboard brings me joy.

Of course this is how we look. Why do you ask?

I have a comfy desk chair, a lovely computer station and desk and bookcases for my reference books and the books of friends. Since this is a small room, I have a narrow aisle between the desks and the bookcases. This is fine, since I’m sitting at the computer, not doing the tango or acrobatics. (I can tango but I could never do acrobatics!)

Picture the background in solid pink with
three cats roaming in and out and across the
the keyboard or lying on my hands

Don’t think I don’t enjoy being with my family. Hero is truly a wonderful, wonderful man and I love him more than I can express. Our daughters are amazing women of whom we’re proud and with whom we enjoy spending time. Especially these three people make me happy. There are many other relatives and friends with whom I like to visit.

Writing, though, is… my happy place. What in your life makes you happiest?

Caroline Clemmons is an award winning and Amazon bestselling author who lives in North Central Texas with her husband and their menagerie of rescued pets. Sign up for her newsletter here to receive a free book. Her latest release is GRANT ME THE MOON in the 8-author anthology of all new contemporary western romance novels, COME LOVE A COWBOY. Get your copy at http://amzn.com/B01D5876UK

  

Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame. ~Henry David Thoreau

It seems to me that we could all benefit from a post on love. As romance authors, love is essential to our stories. Not only that, but with all the division in the country and the world these days, a little more love would go a long way toward healing. I've been thinking about some of my favorite quotes, and decided to pair them with lovely pics of our garden taken by my daughter, Elise. Of course, while looking for familiar quotes, I came across new ones. This quote from dear Mister Rogers says a lot:

“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” 

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember 

A baby is born with a need to be loved — and never outgrows it. ~Frank A. Clark

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~George Moore

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~Robert Heinlein

 Who, being loved, is poor? ~Oscar Wilde

We loved with a love that was more than love. ~Edgar Allan Poe

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.
~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. ~Henry Van Dyke

Love is no respecter of age or practicality
Neither morality: unabashed
She enters where she will
Unheeding that her immortal fires
Burn up human hearts...
~Phillip Pulfrey, from Beyond Me, www.originals.net

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. ~John Bulwer

You know you have found love when you can't find your way back. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

While duty measures the regard it owes

With scrupulous precision and nice justice,
Love never reasons, but profusely gives,
Gives, like a thoughtless prodigal, its all,
And trembles then, lest it has done too little.
~Hannah More


Take away love and our earth is a tomb. ~Robert Browning

Love.... Its eternal goal is life.... No one who has ever brought up a child can doubt for a moment that love is literally the life-giving fluid of human existence. ~Smiley Blanton, quoted in Woman's Home Companion, 1956

I don't think you can keep someone you truly love at arm's length on purpose, they'll always end up in your arms. ~Holly Nichole Miller


Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. ~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet CXVI"

***We have children, kitties, and geese in among our many growing things. We try to keep the geese out of the garden, though. My grandbaby Owen is in our sunflower forest above and this is Owl Cat below. My DH snapped this shot of her. Elise took the rest.

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS

Have you ever encountered someone who never seems happy? Of course, it's hard to know what life has thrown at a person. Happiness is different for everyone. Sometimes, it takes very little to bring a smile to your face. Your expression is the first thing a stranger notices about you.   

What has this got to do with writing? Have you ever walked by an author's table at a signing party and they looked like every second there is pure misery? Yes, it is tiring and a lot of work. If no one is walking up to you, this is the perfect time to ask your friends for help and suggestions. Even though your expression is simple exhaustion, it may come across as irritation. A smile, works wonders.

When you get to a point where you are struggling in your writing and want to throw the whole thing out a window and take up bungee jumping, it's time to call your friends and break out the wine, chocolate and pep talks.

I may whine or complain that writing is hard. Duh! But it is something that makes me happy. Most of the time. Hopefully, I can support my fellow writers and best buds when their characters refuse to obey or the plot is going nowhere.

My friends always bring me joy. They also have no trouble telling me when to shape up, get busy and stop goofing off.

Don't Worry; Be Happy by Joan Reeves

eBook only 99cents

I create characters in romance novels that have been popular with readers. By the end of each book, my characters have learned how to be happy. Notice I say learned because for many people, happiness is a learned skill.

I spend a lot of time thinking about human nature. One thing that's true for fiction and real life is that most of us seem to make the same mistakes as we bumble our way along the road of life.

Want to be happier? Here are some "rules" I came up with that might help. See what you think of them.

1. Don't take advice from anyone who's more screwed up than you.
Everyone likes to give advice, but always ask yourself if the person dishing out the advice is living life more effectively with less hiccups than you. If not, smile and nod and feel free to ignore what they say. Unless what they tell you is based upon what they learned from their own bad experience of doing the opposite.

2. Do learn from others who have been where you want to go.
Model their behavior. Find out how they did it and adapt their method to your efforts.Unless the way they achieved it was dishonest and goes against your own beliefs and integrity. You can't model negative behavior without far-reaching consequences.

3. Do stop working so hard; instead, learn how to work more effectively.
Unless you assess your efforts and realize you really aren't working hard - you're just giving lip service to the idea of working hard.

4. Do enjoy yourself more.
Unless you're already spending way too much time in the pursuit of pleasure. You have to have a good balance between hard, effective work and play.

5. Do change your attitude about work.
Sometimes when we describe an activity as work -- even though it's something we truly adore doing -- the activity, in our mind, becomes linked to work equals unpleasantness. The more you enjoy something; the less it should seem like work. Unless you already view your work as play so much so that you have a slipshod attitude about what you do. Never forget you want to achieve something with the investment of your time, energy, and brain power.

Post Script

To feel like a success, figure out what success means to you.

(Joan Reeves writes funny, sexy Contemporary Romance. Her books are available at all major ebook sellers with audio editions available at Amazon, Audible.com, and iTunes. Joan publishes Writing Hacks, a free subscription newsletter for writers, and I LUV Books, a free subscription newsletter for readers. Find Joan at her Blog: SlingWords.

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

By Brenda Daniels

That was a question posed on a morning talk show last week. Maybe because the UN declared March 20th International Day of Happiness. Or, perhaps, it's the never ending Despicable Me II  song, Happy being played on TV and the radio. Yeah, the stupid song got to me, too. I've been known to dance around the room when I hear it.  Only the dogs are witness to these spasms.

Writing makes me happy. My family and friends makes me happy. Kittens and puppies turn me into a puddle. These are standard answers to the question. Heck, dogs are probably the easiest animals on the planet to please. Forget cats, they choose to be happy on their own terms.

Have you ever watched a toddler? Give a child a plain, cardboard box and let them use their imagination. Simple happiness in a simple object.

One of the PBS reality shows really hit home when a few modern families were packed off to farms and asked to live in the 1800's. The kids were spoiled and sullen. Mom wasn't thrilled with the lack of modern conveniences. Dad was just kind of lost. When it was over and they returned to their real lives, the children were bored, Mom missed the closeness of evenings with the family and dad got back to the business of  making money. The bottom line is, you don't need much to make you happy.

So, go out and hug your family and friends. Play with your pets. Write, paint, sing, or dance. Whatever makes you happy.