April is National Autism Awareness Month by Susan Sheehey

April is National Autism Awareness Month.

But it’s every day in our house, every month of the year.

Our 9yr old was diagnosed when he was 4.

April 2^nd is the official World Autism Awareness Day. Coincidentally, I was sitting in the parking lot of the developmental pediatrician’s office that morning, waiting to go in to have our second child assessed for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder).

I understand this month is supposed to bring awareness and acceptance to the world for those who suffer from ASD. And this post is quite different than what I normally share.

But I actually have something important to say.

First and foremost, I love my boys. I will do anything for them.

But I don’t celebrate my eldest son’s autism.

Autism is not like it’s displayed in the movies.

Those are clichés. Or extreme rarities, like the savants.

Our Autism is hard. I won’t go into specifics. That would take FAR too long. Your eyes would glaze over, and you’d probably move on to the next email in your inbox.

But sitting in the parking lot of the developmental pediatrician’s office for my younger son’s evaluation was extremely difficult.

Because I know where this path goes.

We’ve lived it for years.

There is nothing more personal.

My younger son just turned 4. If he does end up on the spectrum, he has completely different symptoms than my eldest son. Different areas that effect how he interacts with the world. Or lack of interaction.

But of all the research I’ve done, everything we’ve experienced, every therapist/ doctor/ expert I’ve spoken to in both the medical field and educational field…

It’s hard to sit in that car and not cry.

But I can’t cry. My son is in the backseat. I don’t want him to freak out. I don’t want him to think I’m taking him some place that will hurt him. Because why else would mommy be crying in the front seat?

April is National Autism Awareness Month. I know many Autism mothers, fathers, grandparents that celebrate it, and enjoy getting to share their lives with the world. I am all for spreading awareness. I congratulate those parents and individuals for having that optimism and that enthusiasm. For reaching that point.

I know even more Autism Warrior parents that do not celebrate it. Because it’s freaking hard. I would use another F word if I could. There are things we see and deal with that is extremely jarring to ‘outsiders.’ It’s heartbreaking. Because the only thing I want to do is help my son lead the most full and loving life he possibly can. Some days, the world is viciously unkind. Some days, the world is just too much, and we struggle to help make it smaller for him, or less painful.

So, for this National Autism Awareness Month, I guess the only piece of advice I would ask everyone is don’t judge. Not the child, nor the parent. You have no idea what these kids are going through, what their parents are going through, and you have no idea what it’s like living

their lives. Don’t make fun. Don’t judge, and certainly don’t apologize.

Try to include. Try to understand. If you can’t understand, that’s fine, too. Then at least, try to

help. Any small gesture. If you see a child having a tantrum in the grocery store, don’t give them

strange looks or place blame. Offer to help the parent. (Not the child, the parent is focusing on their needs). If the parent seems testy, don’t take it personally. It’s weeks and week and months and months of stress coming out at the wrong moment. Honestly, we’re not used to people offering to help.

So, it’s April 10^th, now. And he has another assessment (6 total over the course of the month). Here we go again.

I hope you all have a great week.

To all my fellow warrior parents:

Love must be as much a light, as it is a flame. ~Henry David Thoreau

It seems to me that we could all benefit from a post on love. As romance authors, love is essential to our stories. Not only that, but with all the division in the country and the world these days, a little more love would go a long way toward healing. I've been thinking about some of my favorite quotes, and decided to pair them with lovely pics of our garden taken by my daughter, Elise. Of course, while looking for familiar quotes, I came across new ones. This quote from dear Mister Rogers says a lot:

“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” 

― Fred Rogers, The World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember 

A baby is born with a need to be loved — and never outgrows it. ~Frank A. Clark

The hours I spend with you I look upon as sort of a perfumed garden, a dim twilight, and a fountain singing to it. You and you alone make me feel that I am alive. Other men it is said have seen angels, but I have seen thee and thou art enough. ~George Moore

Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. ~Robert Heinlein

 Who, being loved, is poor? ~Oscar Wilde

We loved with a love that was more than love. ~Edgar Allan Poe

A bell is no bell 'til you ring it,
A song is no song 'til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
'Til you give it away.
~Oscar Hammerstein, Sound of Music

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. ~Henry Van Dyke

Love is no respecter of age or practicality
Neither morality: unabashed
She enters where she will
Unheeding that her immortal fires
Burn up human hearts...
~Phillip Pulfrey, from Beyond Me, www.originals.net

It is astonishing how little one feels alone when one loves. ~John Bulwer

You know you have found love when you can't find your way back. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com

While duty measures the regard it owes

With scrupulous precision and nice justice,
Love never reasons, but profusely gives,
Gives, like a thoughtless prodigal, its all,
And trembles then, lest it has done too little.
~Hannah More


Take away love and our earth is a tomb. ~Robert Browning

Love.... Its eternal goal is life.... No one who has ever brought up a child can doubt for a moment that love is literally the life-giving fluid of human existence. ~Smiley Blanton, quoted in Woman's Home Companion, 1956

I don't think you can keep someone you truly love at arm's length on purpose, they'll always end up in your arms. ~Holly Nichole Miller


Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. ~William Shakespeare, "Sonnet CXVI"

***We have children, kitties, and geese in among our many growing things. We try to keep the geese out of the garden, though. My grandbaby Owen is in our sunflower forest above and this is Owl Cat below. My DH snapped this shot of her. Elise took the rest.