A Guide to Many-Paws

Well, it was bound to happen. I have officially entered into Many-Paws.

No, I haven’t spelled it wrong. I am talking that phase where women transform from the graceful swans of their youth into... well, let’s just say there’s a reason why they call it “Many-Paws.”

And what’s a girl to do during this perplexing period? Why, naturally, collect cats! It’s a phenomenon as old as time, or at least as old as the internet. So, if you’re a lady of a certain age who’s been accused of being a “crazy cat lady,” or maybe “animal hoarder” fear not! It is highly likely you are only feeling the effects of Many-Paws.

How do you know if you have transitioned? There are telling signs:  

First things first, you may not even realize you’re in Many-Paws. One day you’re sipping your morning latte, and the next, you’re ordering cat-themed apparel.  It’s like a sneaky ninja that creeps up on you while you’re busy contemplating life’s mysteries, like why your thermostat is stuck at “July in Texas.”

Many-Paws can be a lonely journey, so naturally, you turn to the internet. You subscribe to cat-related newsletters, join cat Facebook and rescue groups, and watch cat videos on YouTube for hours on end. Your Amazon cart is filled with cat nip mice, meaty treats, lint rollers and even a four-foot cat tree. Your Pinterest page is full of blueprints for catios and cat entertainment.  Your kids think you’ve lost it and grandkids think you are cool. 

As Many-Paws progresses, your home slowly transforms into a feline paradise. Your linen covered bench at the end of you bed becomes a scratching post and behind the sofa becomes a den of sin where all the treasures are collected. And what’s that on the kitchen counter? Oh, it’s just a cat-themed cookie jar to keep the treats in and besides, it’s cute, and it complements the cat-shaped salt and pepper shakers, right? 

Let us not forget your furr jackets? Perfect for those “wear your cat to work” days.

You start posting cat-spirational quotes on your social media accounts, like “Who needs men when you have cats,” and “If your friends say 7 cats is too many, remove that person from your life, no one should have to deal with that kind of negativity.” Your friends and family are concerned, but deep down, they secretly envy your newfound Zen.

Your weekend outings to get pet food turn into shopping adventures looking for more feline companionship. You visit local animal shelters, pet stores, and even circle the dumpster at Dairy Queen to look for strays. Petfinder.com is your friend. Your heart swells with joy as you imagine adopting all of the floofs. You start calculating how many cats you could fit into your home comfortably and how many days between litter box changes you would need.

Then, one day, as you gaze lovingly at your ever-growing cat collection, you realize that you’ve fully transitioned into Many-Paws. You’ve become the cat-loving, cat-obsessed, cat-everything lady you were destined to be. And honestly, life couldn’t be more purr-fect.

(Actual Photos from -Button and Bobbin- except for the kittens I have applied to adopt just tonight.)