I'm Still Here by Liz Flaherty

Late again, but a good reason, I promise! I had surgery Friday, a serious but textbook removal of a carotid artery blockage. It went well, although it came with surprises. It was worse than expected. More than expected. I came home late the next day, feeling pretty good, pretty proud I'd gotten through it all easily.

Then, on Sunday, my oxygen saturation tanked and my lungs developed a grouchy crackle and slurped up more fluid than to which they were entitled, and back to the hospital I went. Not the same one--a smaller satellite of the same group. 

My care was great, staff was great. Even the food was good. After two days, I came home. I have family support, love, and care. I have quite literally no complaints.

But I'm feeling strange.

I take medicine for blood pressure, for cholesterol, for depression. Small dosages that keep me level. I wish I didn't need them, but there you go. I also take vitamins and calcium and a few other supplements. 

But over these past days, I've been filled with medication. With anesthesia whose contents list went on forever. With stuff to make me pee. Stuff to allow me to clear other things. Stuff to help my lungs get back to normal. Stuff to keep my oxygen on track. I've done very, very little for myself. My husband even brings me my laptop when I need it. I haven't cooked or done laundry. I emptied the dishwasher this morning and felt like Wonder Woman. 

I feel pretty well, although heavy with what is still in my head, in my arteries. My wrists and the insides of my elbows are still bruised from needles. I've laughed with others about my now having a dramatic story to tell. But I'm slow. I can't think of words. I'm ... well, vague. If any of you remembers Marion Lorne, I have her persona down pat.

I am ... oh, so very happy to feel well, so grateful to the ones who've helped me on that path, but I'm anxious to have myself back, too. I want, when I say or write those words I'm still here, to be sure of who I am and where here is.

I'm not back to writing yet, but my Harlequin Heartwarmings are on on sale. If you've never read one, I hope you'll give them a try.

Thanks for coming by!