I'm tired and as cranky as a teething baby. I need to turn my frown upside down as my elders used to say back in the day. (Yes, I really heard adults say this to children.)
I searched through my archive of funny things and found what follows.
I don't know who first uttered these witty words or when. It seems as if they've floated around the Internet for years. Enjoy!
What's your solution when you're cranky? Leave a comment with your email address to be entered in a drawing for a free audiobook of one of my romantic comedies. Entries accepted until Sept. 23. Prize to be awarded Sept. 24. Winner notified by email.
Universal Laws of Life
1. Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. And you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
5. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
6. Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
7. Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
8. Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
9. Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
10. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
11. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
12. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
For Your Consideration
If you like to laugh, you'll like my romantic comedies. For instance, Cinderella Blue, available at Amazon Kindle and other ebook sellers.
In Cinderella Blue, love means never having to say, "You're under arrest."
Too bad, because Detective Andrea Luft--Andie to her friends--loves those 3 little words--especially when she's saying them to a "bad guy" who SO deserves it. Like the thief stealing designer wedding gowns from San Antonio bridal boutiques.
Andie is an undercover bride about to make an arrest when Detective Bruce Benton barges onto the scene. The suspect escapes, and, as a reward for this screw-up, Benton and Andie are paired together as partners to close the case.
On the surface, this mismatched duo appear to have only one thing in common: their tendency to annoy each other. Underneath though, desire sizzles. Is it just a matter of time before these two commitment-phobic cops yield to the inevitable?
Joan Reeves is a NY Times and USA Today bestselling author of contemporary romance. She lives her “happily ever after” with her husband in the Lone Star State. Visit Joan at her Amazon Author Page; SlingWords, her blog; and sign up for Wordplay, her email mailing list.